Tribal Sisters
by cyndaquil
Summary: A very different Ranma arrives at the Tendo dojo. Will Genma get his son back or will she turn the Tendo girls into Amazons?rnrnChapter 3 now added
1. Default Chapter

Tribal Sisters

Genma bowed his head in shame. The man didn't actually have a sense of shame, but for this occasion he thought it best to fake one. Soun Tendo, shocked that Genma seemed to suddenly have a sense of shame promptly forgave him. It went without saying however, that Soun wanted an explanation. After all if Genma couldn't produce his missing son then how could they carry on the Anything Goes training hall.

The shameless man proceeded to tell him about his son Ranma. Please note that this is Genmas' account, and he didn't want the incident to sound like his own fault, so the account might be somewhat skewed.

First Genma told how when Ranma was a mere child he, against his fathers wishes, subjected himself to dangerous Nekoken (cat fist training). As a result of the Nekoken training, Ranma was terrified of cats, and when the terror consumed him he would believe himself to be a cat.

Next, Genma explained how the impetuous Ranma had dragged him to a dangerous training ground called Jusenkyo, failed to read the Chinese warning signs and refused to head the guides warnings that the Jusenkyo pools were cursed.

Here is were the old man started to tell the truth:

While fighting over the bamboo poles of the ancient training ground Ranma knocked his father into the spring of drowned mountain lion. Seeing a fierce mountain lion emerge from the pool, a terrified, Ranma shrieked 'BIG CAT BIG CAT" over and over again. He then lost his balance and fell into a pool. Not fully understanding what had occurred or why Ranma had seemed so terrified, Genma jumped to the edge of the pool and called to him. Unfortunately, all Ranma saw was a big cat waiting for him to surface from the pool. With each roar, Ranma's terror grew. So caught was she in the Nekokens grip that she did not even realize the changes the Jusenkyo pool had wrought upon her now female body. Fearing that Ranma was drowning, Genma slashed his paws at the water, but found himself clawing at Ranma rather than reaching in to help the girl.

Suddenly, Ranma leaped from the pool and slashed at the mountain lion with fingers that somehow cut like sharp claws. Ranma, now taken over by the Nekoken slashed, and clawed, and meowed fiercely at his father until he fell unconscious. Terrified at the horrendous sight the guide screamed. With the acute hearing and high-strung nerves of any housecat Ranma ran away from the shrill sound, and was last seen moving deep into the mountains. By the time Genma regained consciousness Ranma was long gone, and he hasn't seen his son/daughter since, though he searched for six months. The Tendo family cried for the lost heir who it seemed none of them would ever know.

"Such a terrible fate" Genma declared. "To be lost in the treacherous mountains of China, out of your mind, and in a body not your own. Oh Ranma, how you must have suffered." Tears then poured violently from Genmas' eyes, after all he needed the sympathy or the Tendos wouldn't let him mooch at there home.

At that moment Ranma had just finished eating wild boar by an open campfire, and cuddled next to her Amazon tribal sister Shampoo, thinking about how great life had been ever since she had come to the mountain village.

This might take some explaining.

You see after Ranma ran into the mountains, she calmed down and crawled through the mountains for a while. Still, thinking she was a cat the girl chased some mice and birds then was drawn by the sound of cheering humans. Her housecat mind reasoned that if she approached the humans and looked cute enough they might give her some milk, or maybe even a fish.

When she got to the village a human girl was standing atop a huge log suspended by ropes saying something in a foreign language. This was Shampoo, who had just beat her latest opponent and was asking if anyone was brave enough to challenge her. Shampoo had bells and ribbons tied into her long hair, and as she moved her head to look for challengers they jingled and wavered in the breeze. Entranced the cat girl pounced on the amazon, knocking her from the podium, and pawed playfully at her hair. Shampoo tried to resist, but the girl positioned herself to lock out all of Shampoos joints, then began purring affectionately. Shampoo considered giving the red haired girl the kiss of death, but Ranma beat her to it when she began licking the sweat from her face.

Everyone stared at the strange girl, who had defeated the tribe's strongest warrior, with a distinct fascination. Whispers and murmurs could be heard throughout the village. Soon Cologne, the village elder approached. Tension mounted amongst the entire village as the eyes of Ranma and Cologne locked. Anticipation grew in each Amazon, since they all new the elder had some plan to deal with the mysterious warrior. Suddenly, Cologne reached into her pocket and produced a rubber mouse stuffed with catnip. Ranma leaped at the toy and then began playing with it on the dirty ground as a kitten would. Everyone else face faulted.

"This poor child seems to be a victim of Nekoken training Cologne regretfully announced. It would appear her original mind has been completely consumed by the Nekoken madness. All that remains are martial arts skills and enhanced feline traits. Still perhaps she can be re-educated from within this state. I will adopt her into my clan. Shampoo, as of now this is your sister."

The girls of the tribe took and instant liking to Ranma. Since no one knew her proper name they began calling her Neko. Neko eventually accepted that she was not a cat and chose her sister Shampoo as the ideal human by which to model herself. She constantly imitated Shampoo, the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, even the way she opened doors. Shampoo liked having someone that admired her so, though it did get annoying at times, and soon they became true sisters. Nekos' mannerisms did however keep a feline quality to them and when she learned to speak Chinese her every sentence ended with a meow sound.

The Amazons were hardly the uneducated bumpkins people thought they were. Neko was demandingly tutored in reading and arithmetic. She had indeed retained all her martial arts skills from her former life as Ranma. Furthermore, she had cat like senses and instinctive fighting skills. Most impressive of all, she could somehow, with seemingly ordinary fingers, scratch effortlessly through even solid steel or any other surface. These were all benefits of the Nekoken. Impressed with her skills, Cologne taught her even more fighting techniques. For instance, she learned the chestnuts roasting on an open fire technique, the heavens dragon wave technique, and how to fight with bonbouri (another attempt to emulate Shampoo). Since warrior might was prized above all things by the Amazons Neko soon went from an unfortunate delusional girl to a popular and respected member of the tribe, even her embarrassing cat like tendencies were not criticized in the least.

It was a surprisingly long time before anyone, even Neko found out about her curse. You see there is no plumbing in the Amazon village. The drinking water came from wells and the girls all bathed in a natural waterfall which was cool and refreshing for the warm climate of the valley were the village was located. When someone accidentally spilled tea on her Neko was more shocked than anyone to find herself in a male body. It was at Nekos' own request that Cologne made her a magic bracelet that when worn would keep her in female form. Cologne recognized the Jusenkyo curse and explained it to her, though the girl did not like the idea that male might be her proper form.

Along with all this, every night, big sister Shampoo would tell her stories. These stories usually were of people who broke Amazon law, or men who tried to dominate over women, and received divine punishments. Since there was no TV or Xbox in the village, Neko listened to these stories with tremendous interest and begged to hear her favorite ones over and over again. Soon Amazon beliefs and values were engraved deeply into her mind. It reached a point were she viewed all things not Amazon as wrong and sinful. Nekos whole life, as she knew it was laughing, smiling, and learning amongst her friends in the village and she never wanted that to change.

This brings us to the present, a year and a half after Ranma entered the village. Cologne was called to the governing council of the tribe. Though she was a tribal elder and the strongest member of this very council she did have to be held accountable to the other members.

The council met in a huge dome like hut. Each of the seven members sat behind a desk that encircled the room and towered nine feet high. This was meant to both intimidate people called to council and hide the fact that no member was more than three feet tall. A two-foot tall woman, at the center of the desk, looked at Cologne with sympathy.

"We have gathered you here because of Neko, the girl you adopted into your clan. It is our understanding that you found this girl. She was amnesiac, and wondered through the mountains."

"You know that Spray," Cologne replied. "It is a small village and her hut is two doors from your own."

"Yes well, we recently communicated with outsiders and found Neko was a boy named Ranma Saotome, and authorities may soon search the tribe for her. We all love Neko, and she has the potential to high ranking tribe official. However, you know how outsiders jump to conclusions. They will likely think we started kidnapping outsiders and brainwashing them to join the tribe again."

Cologne knew what this meant all to well. Last time they were caught brainwashing outsiders the other outsiders sent them. First were the missionaries who tried to civilize the Amazons by forcing their barbaric beliefs on her people and ridiculing their current belief system. Then when they tried killing the annoying missionaries hordes of men with guns came intending to imprison the older members of the tribe and ship the children to horrific places run by the organization that sent the missionaries.

"How can we avoid this?" Cologne asked.

"Simple, we send Neko on a mission to return to Japan and live with her father for one Japanese school term. Afterwards she can return to the tribe or stay with her father, but it is no longer a legal problem for us, since no one can say we held her captive."

This seemed like an honest and fair way to handle the circumstances. Cologne didn't like that. She wanted to keep the girl for herself. Perhaps she could find a way to sneak around the situation. "Very well Cologne agreed but I suggest we send Shampoo so that the girl doesn't feel her new family has abandoned her." Neko, Cologne thought practically worshiped her sister and would never want to leave her. Surely Shampoo would keep her loyal to the Amazons.

The council whispered and murmured amongst themselves, and finally agreed to Colognes suggestion.

The plan was going perfectly. Neko didn't even want to meet her father. All she knew was that he was the guy who tied her up with fish sausage and threw her to starving cats, and that he probably had a very sick perverted reason when he threw her into a cursed spring. Shampoo agreed to come only out of concern for her sister. Neko had completely forgotten the Japanese language. It took Neko three months of total immersion to speak fluent Chinese, so a week of lessons in Japanese from cheap how to books was disastrous. Neither Neko nor Shampoo could figure out how to use vowels or keep up with fast moving conversations. This meant it would be harder for them to bond with outsiders, since they couldn't hold any meaningful conversations. Furthermore, she was so boggled with the Japanese lessons that Neko didn't even finish memorizing what little information they had on Ranma Saotome. Cologne even arranged for Shampoo to arrive in Japan later than Neko, figuring that it would be harder and more traumatic if she had to meet her family alone; this would be another thing to make Neko long for the tribe. It was Colognes hope that Neko would hate Japan, and be eager to return to the tribe.

Nabiki, was bored. Every day was the same. She would watch Akane beat up every boy at school and turn down Kuno (taking a few bets as she did), sit through her classes, come home, do homework, and go to bed so she would be fresh to do it again the next day. It felt like something was supposed to have changed her life a while ago, but that something never came. What's worse Genma had been mooching off them for over a year. Since he was usually a mountain lion no one dared critique the beast. He just lied around the house waiting to be fed, and occasionally played shoji with her father, he never even helped with the housework.

The middle Tendo girl sat down and mentally prepared herself for another boring day when all of a sudden the front door exploded. Standing at the center of the explosion was a red haired girl. The girl wore a white shirt, and red leotard pants. The shirt was odd in that the sleeves extended down the hand and were tied to one of her fingers. She also had wristbands, a breastplate, a belt and wore green ribbons in her hair.

"Nihao, Neko cheerfully announced."

"Who or what are you" Nabiki screamed.

Neko took out a piece of paper and read "Ranma Saotome, mew," from the sheet. Then declared that she was here to see (took another look at the paper) "Genma Saotome. Mew. Genma Saotome is my uh…" Curious, Nabiki asked to see the paper she was reading. Neko handed to her without a thought. It read as follows:

NAME:RANMA SAOTOME

SEX MALE

FATHERGENMA

MOTHERNOT KNOWN

PERSONALITYARROGANT, UNCIVILIZED, SEXIST, AND EGOTISTICAL

SKILLSMARTIAL ARTS

SPOKEN LANGUAGES JAPANESE ONLY

OTHERSPENT 12 YEARS ON A TRAINNING TRIP WITH FATHER

RECEIVED NEKOKEN TRAINNING

AFRAID OF CATS

HAS A JUSENKYO CURSE, TURNS INTO A GIRL WHEN WET.

"Is the information okay? Mew." Neko asked.

"How should I know, its your life."

The girl gave Nabiki an embarrassed and apologetic look, so she decided to be more helpful. Being an excellent judge and manipulator of people chatted with her for a few minutes then made a revised the list based on what she learned. The new list read:

NAME:NEKO

SEX FEMALE

FATHERGENMA

SISTERSHAMPOO

GAURDIAN COLOGNE

MOTHERNOT KNOWN

PERSONALITYSWEET, NAÏVE, TRUSTING, IMPULSIVE

SKILLSMARTIAL ARTS

SPOKEN LANGUAGES CHINNESE AND SOME JAPANESE

OTHERLIKES CATS

ORIGINAL PERSONALITY CONSUMED BY NEKOKEN

ADOPTED AND RE-EDUCATED BY AMAZON TRIBE

WARRIOR CULTURE THAT VIEWS WOMEN AS SUPERIOR TO MEN

Nabiki then sold her the new list for fifty yen. The girl looked at her with trusting eyes and paid without a second thought. Nabiki immediately realized that a source of fun and profit had finally arrived.

Though it wasn't her style Nabiki made tea for Neko and asked her to stay until the rest of her family returned from a shopping trip, and return they eventually did.

"Ranma, your alive" Genma proclaimed. "But why are you in girl form? Did I not raise you to be a man amongst men? How can you shame your father by disappearing for so long then returning to me like this?"

The girl didn't even acknowledge this until Nabiki nudged her shoulder and reminded her that she was Ranma.

"You mean fat, bald, loud man is Neko's Papa? Mew." Neko quietly asked Nabiki.

"Sorry" Nabiki apologized.

Nabiki then filled everyone in about how Ranma lost her old personality to the Nekoken and was re-educated by a female dominated tribe of mountain warriors. Everyone stared at Nabiki with stunned faces then as a test Genma grabbed the teakettle and poured hot water onto Neko. The girl hissed then scratched Genma's arm. Genma screamed in pain as he looked upon the four gashes running down his forearm. Neko then came to her senses. She apologized for the overreaction then explained about the magic bracelet that locks her in whatever form she is in when she puts it on so she doesn't have to turn into a yucky boy.

"Couldn't you also wear that in boy form to remain male?" Kasumi asked.

"Of course not, it's pink. Mew. Boys can't wear pink. Mew."

Everyone just nodded and excepted that explanation, while Genma pleaded for a doctor.

Soon Genma and Kasumi left to wash Genma's little scratch. Soun was still starring with a deer in the headlights expression so Nabiki introduced Neko to her youngest sister Akane. Akane looked at the girl, not sure how to regard her. She had been honest and upfront about her strange curse and connection to a weird foreign tribe, so Akane reluctantly decided to put the weird aspects aside and give her a chance.

"Hi, I'm Akane. Let's be friends."

This greeting relieved Neko. She desperately missed all her Amazon friends and was afraid theses weird Japanese people would hate her.

"Yes please. Mew. Nabiki tells Neko that Akane is a martial artist. Mew. Maybe you and Neko could practice together. Mew."

Akane gave a competitive smile then said she would change into an obi and to meet her in the dojo.

Genma rejoined Soun and they shared a drink to help overcome the surprises of this strange day. Soun asked if it was okay to let Akane spar with the strange girl. "Relax Tendo," Genma replied. "My son would never under any condition strike a woman. It is against his nature. I'm sure whatever those Amazons did to him he will still go easy on your little girl."

Suddenly a large crash could be heard from the dojo. The crash was immediately followed by a "Yay, Neko won, Yay. Mew."

Akane wanted to get mad. Especially since she was hanging upside-down, her body embedded into a wall. But, Neko just had such a darn friendly smile on her face.

"Neko had fun Akane. Mew. But match not even. Mew. How about later Neko teach Akane some Amazon fighting secrets? Mew."

Akane stopped feeling like she lost to a boy. There was nothing remotely male about this girl. Moreover, Akane really wanted the training she was offering. So she smiled, agreed, and asked to be helped off the wall.

Later Akane accidentally walked in on Neko in the bath, but found that even when bathing Neko wore her little pink curse-sealing bracelet. They were just two girls, so there was nothing to be upset about, the two even scrubbed each other's backs.

At the end of the day everyone was gathered in the main room of the Tendo house. Neko was told to sit across from Souns three daughters.

Neko told her father that it was getting late and they should go home, but Genma explained that they were living with the Tendos. Upon hearing this Neko bowed before Kasumi (seeing her as the clans matriarch) and apologized for the inconvenience, insisting that she would do all the cooking and housework to help make up for the trouble her and her father caused. Kasumi thought this was a welcome change from the other houseguests.

Genma scoffed at this behavior then he took on a sneaky smile, after all having a fiancée was sure to re-maculate his son, then Nodoka wouldn't need to kill them.

"Ranma," Soun called. "Ranma." "RANMA!" but Neko just stared into nowhere as cats' sometime do. Finally he said "Neko" and she turned her head to acknowledge Mr. Tendo. "Pleases choose any one of my three daughters for a wife."

"Wow Mr. Tendo, you must think very highly of Neko's Papa to be willing to give him one of your daughters. Mew."

"Uh… I think you misunderstand," Soun tried to explain!

Neko was so excited. This was her first duty as the Saotome matriarch. She leaped up and demanded that the three Tendo daughters attack her, announcing that the best fighter would be allowed to marry her Papa. Upon hearing this Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi all rushed to play dead. Kasumi took a full second longer than the others to hit the floor so Genma declared her his new wife, but then he was slapped upside the head by Soun.

"You misunderstand son," Genma explained. "Me and Tendo have arranged that you marry one of these girls to carry on the anything goes training hall."

"But we're all girls. Mew. Also, men can not arrange marriages. Mew. They are to stupid. Mew." After hearing this Akane gave Neko a high-five.

Genma thought of attacking Neko then and there but looked at the scratch marks on his arm and decided to try a calmer approach. "Look boy, just pick the one you think would make the best wife, that's all I ask."

Neko then pointed to Akane. The youngest Tendo sister was a bit embarrassed at the spot her father had put her in, but she was also pleased. Neither took the engagement seriously it was just a sign of friendship or for being the best warrior that Neko picked her. She might have been angry if she knew the real reason. Neko actually picked her was due to the girls' wide, child bearing, hips. Neko on the other hand took the idea more seriously. She didn't intend to marry another girl of course but by Amazon law the engagement would at least bind them like tribal sisters. Since they were now related she would have to make an effort to civilize Akane and convince her to join the tribe.

Next Chapter.

Kuno, Gosenkugi, Ryoga, Kodachi, Ukyo. Who will get a kiss of marriage, and who will get a kiss of death. The answer will surprise you, unless it happens exactly the way you expect

Also, please, please, please send reviews to mediaminer or want suggestions, criticism, anything.


	2. A Kiss of Marriage

TRIBAL SISTERS

CHAPTER 2

Genma crept into his daughters' room. He had a teakettle in one hand, a bucket in the other, and he had had enough. Neko would return to male form whether she liked it or not. He intended to remove the magic bracelet, drench her in hot water, and then turn himself into a mountain lion. With Ranmas' fear of cats he would not dare challenge Genma again.

Genma carefully put the bucket and the kettle down on the dresser beside the futon and lifted the covers. Something was wrong. The futon was empty and looked like it had not been slept in. He looked around the room. There were carefully folded clothes in the dresser, a make-up kit, a collection of rare herbs used in Amazon spells, a diary, a copy of Japanese for tourists, but there was no sign of Neko. Finally he heard a slight purring noise and looked up. There was Neko curdled in a ball, atop the bookshelf, purring like a kitten. As soon as he saw her, the girl snapped awake and startled Genma with a cheerful "Good Morning Papa! Mew." Genma leaped back, hitting the dresser, and knocking over the bucket. Cold water spilled on the old martial artist. "Kitty Mew," the girl squealed as she jumped to her transformed father with glee. Though Neko had accepted that she is human since getting stuck in the Nekoken, it still seemed perfectly normal to her to find that her father was a mountain lion. She patted the cat, and rubbed its belly in ways she herself had liked to be rubbed when she had a housecats mind. The old lion just sighed and played along.

Soon after the Tendos' awoke to the sound of pans clattering in the kitchen. Apparently Neko was making good on her promise to do all the housework. The cooking was great, though her tastes were a bit odd. Particularly, she felt a meal was incomplete without fish and creamy milk, also all the recipes she knew where Chinese style.

"Oh, Ranma," Genma casually spoke, "I'm going to enroll you to attend Akanes highschool."

This time he had her Genma thought. He would register Neko as a boy named Ranma, then she would have to go as such.

"No need Papa! Great Grandma enroll Neko online. Mew." She then proceeded to show her father her transcripts, and a student card, which listed her as Neko of Amazon tribe and female. "Neko is ready to start school today." The girl seemed excited. She had always been privately tutored in the tribe, and had no recollection of ever attending a public school.

"I didn't think you would have Internet in the village," Nabiki commented.

"No Internet in village. Mew. Great Grandma journey for full day to find library in outsider village with public DSL. Mew."

"Akane, c'mon. Mew. Neko does not wish to be late for first school day. Mew." Neko was dressed in a school uniform that Kasumi had lent her.

The two girls started walking together, and soon broke into a jog, then a fast run. "Uh Neko," Akane spoke, "There are gonna be some guys attacking me when we enter the school gates. Don't worry about it, just let me handle them."

"Okay Akane. Mew."

To Neko this sounded perfectly natural. After all, in her mind Akane was a fellow Amazon, and therefore bound to marry any outsider that defeats her. In fact, when the entire male student body of the school, and about three girls waited to ambush her Neko actually felt proud to have such a popular sister. Akane charged into the storm of males chanting I hate boys over and over as she pummeled each one. When the dust settled Neko looked on, slightly impressed to see that none had proven worthy of her sister. Akane remained in a fighting pose, knowing that he would approach at any moment. Suddenly Akane sensed it, a projectile being hurdled towards her. She caught the object in midair. Even after all this time Akane half expected it to be a rose, like the ones Kuno had given her every morning for over a year, but no, it was another okanomiyaki.

"Good morning Ukyo," Akane chimed.

Ukyo Kuongi. Apparently has a grudge against the Saotomes because of a stolen family Okanomiyaki cart. He came to Nerima to challenge them 3 months ago. The boy seemed strangely distraught to hear that Ranma was missing in China. Ukyo, failed to defeat Genma in battle (don't laugh, he was a giant mountain lion at the time) and remained in Nerima to train for a rematch, or run an Okanomiyaki shop. At this time Akane already had her morning schoolyard ritual, but a boy named Kuno ran it. Unlike Ukyo, Kuno just wanted to date her. When Ukyo heard from Nabiki that the Tendo and Saotome families were supposed to have been united by an arranged marriage he became strangely upset, calling Ranma a two-timer for reasons unknown. Ukyo then beat up Kuno, and took his place as Akanes head tormentor. Thoughts of revenge against the Saotomes led him to organize these attacks against Akane every single morning since. Ukyo pretty much ran the school. Even the principle had learned to fear him, after a bad haircut. At the beginning Akane thought he seemed more reasonable than Kuno was, but lately Ukyo's' delusions made her miss the old blue thunder.

Ukyo crept out from behind a tree and gave a simple morning nod to Akane. In response she turned her nose up and walked right by him. She was not in the mood to put up with that lunatic. Neko followed, giving a smile to Ukyo as though everything was perfectly normal. "Who's this," the spatula-carrying boy asked. "I am Neko. Mew. Neko is new here. Mew. Neko is staying with Akanes family. Mew." Ukyo nodded, about to let her pass then suddenly his eyes went wide. "What is your relation to the Saotomes," he demanded to know. "Well, Genma is Nekos' Papa. Mew." "Impossible," Ukyo retorted. "Genma had only one son, and he was lost in the mountains of China." It was almost time for class so Neko just said it was complicated and she would explain later. Ukyo demanded them to explain immediately but the bubbly girl just smiled again and went off looking for her homeroom class.

"Minions," Ukyo yelled into thin air. Suddenly Kuno and Gosunkugi appeared out of the bushes and bowed before their master. "Follow that red haired girl," he demanded. "It shall be done lord Ukyo," they responded in unison. The two men ran off into the school.

Was there a hint of sarcasm in Kunos' voice, Ukyo wondered? He would have to remind him who his leader is. Kuno was particularly difficult to control. Once she left town for a weekend, and when she came back the dope was already calling himself blue thunder again. If that boy gets even the slightest bit of self esteem it turns into egotistical narcissism overnight. Still that's what made breaking him so much fun.

Neko entered her first classroom and sat down. Soon a flood of teenage boys surrounded her desk and began bombarding her with questions. Miss Hinako tried to restore order but her authority had been quite limited ever since Ukyo started having his minions confiscate all hoop shaped objects from her on a daily basis. You see the teacher has the unique ability to steal battle aura, which she uses as a discipline method. Without such objects the child teacher could not discipline the students, enter her adult form, or even buy lunch. Moreover, Kuno was in her class again. He was probably sent by that Ukyo thug to spy on Akane. Why can't he just stay in his own homeroom? Gosunkugi and Ukyo already are assigned to this class. How many spies does it take to watch a girl? School had become very difficult for the tiny teacher.

"So Miss Neko, What is your favorite food?"

"Mackerel. Mew."

"What clubs do you plan to join?"

"Martial arts and cheerleading. Mew."

"What are your hobbies?"

"Fighting, making potions, and lounging in the sun. Mew"

"What kind of guys do you like?"

"Ones that can beat Neko in a fight. Mew."

Neko was very embarrassed and wished the teacher would regain control. Just as Hinako felt order was finally beginning to restore itself the wall on the opposite side of the room exploded.

Amidst the rubble stood Shampoo. Everyone immediately noticed the similarities in her clothes to those that Neko wore. There relation was confirmed when Neko squealed, "Big Sister Shampoo, you final come! Mew."

The two girls embraced, as they did Neko noticed she was holding a little black piglet in her left hand. "I catch this on way here. Make very tender cutlets." Poor Hinako was about to demand an explanation when suddenly the room filled with black rose petals and insane laughter. "OH HO HO HO HO." Kodachi the black rose appeared. She was wearing her trademark green leotard and held a gymnastics ribbon in one hand and a little electronic device in the other. "So you're the one, who took my boyfriend," she accused, pointing at Shampoo and her pig. "To bad for you I had the vet implant a tracking microchip on him." Kodachi produced a teakettle, where she hid it on her outfit I couldn't say, and poured water on the pig. Suddenly a naked Ryoga appeared before the class.

Everyone stared at the transformed boy, but nobody seemed particularly surprised. "Ryoga, where have you been?" Akane questioned. "Akane, I was on my way to our date," he said in a panicked voice, "but I took a wrong turn, got caught in the rain, and wound up on this girls estate as a pig. She tried to feed me to a pet crocodile but the pool was heated so I turned human and fought my way out. Then she started with this crazy boyfriend talk."

Akane just nodded as though she wasn't surprised. She had known Ryoga for over a year. The details weren't clear but apparently he had followed Ranma and Genma to China over some grudge with Ranma, and wound up with a pig curse. He then came to Nerima, still looking for Ranma. Ukyo made up some outrageous story that the mountain lion at the Tendo house was Ranma in a cursed form, so he attacked it. After defeating Genma, Kasumi showed him that it was Genma and not Ranma. He apologized, stayed for dinner and asked Akane to date him. She couldn't really call it a relationship though, since Ryogas' direction sense was so poor that statistically he could only find her four times a year. When he did find her she just took him on pity dates because of the boys incredibly rotten luck. Maybe Kodachis' microchip was a good idea.

"Give back my boyfriend immediately," Kodachi demanded.

"Okay, if he is human than no can eat anyway," Shampoo offered.

Kodachi was taken aback by how easily Shampoo backed down, but then a self satisfied smirk shot across her face. "Yes, surrender. After all a dirty little foreigner like yourself must at least know she has no business opposing the black rose of St. Heberike."

After hearing this Shampoo swung her bonbouri, launching the black rose of St. Heberike back to St. Heberike.

Ryoga thanked Shampoo, then went looking for a place to hide his nakedness. He wound up wondering into the girls' change room, where Nabiki sold him some clothes at a bargain price. Akane picked up the little Ryoga tracking device Kodachi dropped, and the gang soon reunited. School was called on account of damage to the building and everyone went home.

"So your Genmas' daughter," Ryoga asked.

"Yes. Mew." Neko replied.

"Do your know how I can find Ranma Saotome."

Neko looked deep in thought. She knew she had heard the name Ranma before but wasn't sure where. Akane sweat-dropped with embarrassment. What a ditz. Neko had forgotten that she's Ranma yet again. Still it was better Ryoga not know, he gets a little crazy whenever anyone mentions Ranma.

Ukyo stood on a nearby rooftop watching the four friends go about there business. Genmas' daughter, she thought. It was because of Genma that Ukyo had to give up her womanhood. He had promised his own son in marriage then run away with their family business cart. The Kuonji family never fully recovered from the shame. It was Ranma she really wanted. After all the dope had promised himself to her, then betrayed her. But if Ranma wasn't around, she would have revenge on all other Saotomes. Ukyo took out her Okanomiyaki making equipment then carefully made a Japanese pizza just for Neko, her last meal she thought. In anchovies she wrote, NEKO, BATTLE ME AT PARK, 6:00. Then with the skill of an Olympic discus thrower she hurled the tasty snack in Nekos direction.

Neko suddenly stopped. She smelled it coming towards her. Blessed wonderful fish, which she loved so very much. She grabbed the okanomiyaki just before it could strike her, and greedily took a large bite. Neko was about to take another when Akane stopped her and pointed out the writing on the pie. Her bite had cut off some of the message, What was left read, NEKO, …E ME AT PARK, 6:00.

"Oh wow, It must be from cute spatula boy who was starring at Neko all day. Mew. He must mean NEKO, DATE ME AT PARK, 6:00. Mew. Neko is so happy. Mew"

Akane warned her that Ukyo was probably planning to ambush her, but Neko enthusiastically replied "You think he want kiss of marriage so soon? Mew."

What the heck was she talking about now, Akane thought? "Look, Neko! Ukyo has a grudge against all Saotomes! He even picks on me just because Ranma was supposed to marry a Tendo." Akane warned, but Neko had already skipped off wondering what she would wear to her date.

At six O'clock exactly, Ukyo leaped from a tree at park. Hoping to catch Neko off guard, she wildly swung her spatula and charged. However all that managed to do was scare the children and pigeons away. Neko was nowhere in sight. "Minion," Ukyo demanded. Kuno appeared from the bushes. "Where is she?" Ukyo cried. "At our last sweep of the Saotome stronghold, she appeared to be applying some sort of war paint in preparation for battle."

Back at the Tendo dojo Neko was frantically fussing over a mirror. "How does big sister Shampoo make make-up look so easy? Mew. Neko is already late. Mew"

Genma, chuckled to himself, for he knew Ukyo's' little secret, and thought that a date with a girl might be just what was needed to re-maculate his son.

Back at the park Gosunkugi appeared from the bushes. "Sir, based on my surveillance, I believe Miss Neko had mistaken your challenge for a request to date her."

"Impossible, because she's late, and no girl would stand me up." Ukyo replied. She then took a manly pose, but it only served to show off her soft dainty feminine features. Gosunkugi and Kuno stared at their master; secretly questioning her manhood and wondering if it was Ok to find her attractive.

Finally, Neko arrived. She wore a green undershirt, covered by a yellow coat with matching skirt, high heel shoes, and hair ribbon. The skirt was awkward, and the heels were at least 2 inches. Moreover, she was wearing make-up, not war paint. She obviously wasn't ready for a fight.

"Neko is here. Mew. Has Ukyo senpai been waiting long? Mew."

Ukyo blushed. "Nah not long," she lied. Then she commanded her minions to not interfere and took a defensive stance.

"Sir if I might be so forward," Gosunkugi offered, "I've made a list of weaknesses you can exploit. You see based on information purchased from Miss Nabiki she has a cat like mind and…"

"Silence minion, do not interfere." Ukyo shouted.

She then jabbed and struck her spatula at Neko, but the girl dodged effortlessly, then with a single kick Ukyo flew into a nearby tree.

"On second thought, show me that list," Ukyo commanded.

Gosunkugi was so pleased. He was finally moving up the ladder. This was the first step to becoming head minion. His mother would be so proud. Ukyo glanced at the list. It read:

CATNIP MICE FISH 

Ukyo looked at her minion with disdain. Gosunkugi stood proudly, expecting praise. "I also took the liberty of preparing this," he announced. He then took out a remote control and pressed a red button. From the center of the battlefield a small landmine exploded. In the wake of the explosion hundreds of mice with catnip tied to there tails began scampering in all directions from the hole in the ground. As stupid as this was Ukyo was impressed that Gosunkugi had set it all up on such short notice. To everyone's surprise Neko Mewed with pleasure and actually began chasing the mice. Ukyo walked casually through the chaos of the scampering mice towards Neko. She was running by her, on all fours, her mind totally fixated on a mouse she was chasing. With one blow of her spatula Ukyo knocked the distracted girl into submission.

Neko was groggy from the blow. She got up, and slowly looked around.

"Where is Ranma Saotome," Ukyo threatened.

Neko looked at Ukyo, and gave a slight purr. Then she slowly got up, grabbed her shoulders and pulled Ukyo into an embrace. "Wo Ai Ni. Mew" (it's you I love), she softly spoke as Neko pulled Ukyo forward into a gentle but long kiss.

Why was this girl kissing her? Did she really think this was supposed to be a date? Though Ukyo was actually a woman who bound her breasts, she had lived as a man for many years. This was not the first time her act was convincing enough to win a girls affections. Relying on her many years of experience she handled the situation in a tried and true method that would never fail. Ukyo broke the kiss and ran away as fast as she could.

The next day, Akane couldn't believe what she was hearing. Neko had fallen, totally and completely fallen for Ukyo. I mean come on, not only was he a total jerk, but he didn't even look like a guy. At this very moment Neko was fussing over a hot stove to make something special for her beloved Ukyo.

"Isn't Dim Sum an unusual thing to make for a boyfriend." Akane asked.

"This is special Dim Sum. Mew. It is made from mushroom only found in Nihon province. Mew."

"What's so special about it."

"Here, Akane try one. Mew."

It was only after she took a bite that Neko mentioned that the mushrooms were hypnotic. Soon Akanes eyes glazed over, and she fell into a deep trance.

"Now Akane, love all things Amazon! Mew. Whenever Akane hear hands clap, Akane will swear loyalty to Amazon tribe and think of how great Amazons are. Mew."

Clap. Clap.

"I swear allegiance to the Amazon tribe." Akane announced. "Hey, did you just brainwash me? Amazon brainwashing is so cool. I mean I'm mad that you did that, even though you're a totally cool Amazon. I mean … Awe shoot."

Whenever Akanes anger won over Neko just clapped her hands again. After several claps Akane eventually gave in and went off to learn how to speak Chinese. The Amazon herbalist's guide had a whole chapter on hypnosis ethics but Shampoo told her that it was a wasted read. Besides, she was merely giving culture to what she considered a less civilized people. Akane would probably thank her in the long run. Neko proceeded to put the same spell on Nabiki and Kasumi, then convinced her father that he was a panda just for fun. The Amazon cat girl then looked upon her handiwork: she saw Genma try to chew through some bamboo in the backyard, Kasumi sparring with Nabiki, and Akane was practicing her pronunciation. Satisfied Neko then went off to test her cooking on Nekos' beloved Ukyo.

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I know Ukyo came off as a little dark. Remember in her first appearance of the manga she disguised herself as a boy and wanted revenge on Ranma. I just wanted to get the feel of an Ukyo who let her anger fester a little longer. She will lighten up in time. As for Kuno, I wanted to put him in a subservient role to counter his regular arrogance. Don't worry the Blue Thunder persona is still fighting to get out. Finally as for my take on Gosunkugi, well he's always been a shameless toady anyway.

Please, please, please review this. Send questions, comments, and suggestions to or use the mediaminer reviews section.


	3. Thunder Clouds

Tribal Sisters

Chapter 3

"Oh great, Shampoo your finally here. Your sister put some weird spell on us and know every time we hear hands clap we get the urge to act like Amazons. We need help!" Nabiki exclaimed.

"Yeah can you give us a hand." Akane begged.

"Okay." Clap Clap.

"We swear allegiance to the amazon tribe," said Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi in unison.

Shampoo then proceeded to remove some fresh baked Dim Sum from the oven. "Who would like more yummy Dim Sum?" She cheerfully asked.

"Will this reinforce the mind control?" Nabiki demanded to know.

"Yes, but it's Amazon Dim Sum," Shampoo answered.

"Oh Amazon, wow, I'll have some."

"Me too."

"Hey don't hog it all Akane."

Neko is much to impulsive Shampoo thought. Now she would either have to keep the Dim Sum coming until the affects become permanent or let it wear off and try to convince them this was just a prank. They will probably be very very angry if it does wear off! Just when did she start worrying so much about consequences? It probably wasn't until after Neko became her sister, she thought. It puts life in perspective to have another person depend on you. For instance back when Neko still thought she was a cat whenever she wanted to enter or leave there home, Neko would stand by the door and meow. This became annoying. The girl just couldn't grasp the doorknob. It was probably because her thumb was a strange foreign object to her. In her mind she had paws, rather than these silly five appendages. Shampoo found a simple solution; she exploded the door off her house. Neko was so happy, being able to come and go without that terrible moving wall to stop her. She was so impressed with her sisters' cleverness that Neko decided to destroy every other door in the village in imitation of her wonderful sister. Fortunately neither of them got into any trouble. People where outraged but everyone knew Neko was imitating someone else, and Shampoo got a boy named Mouse to take the blame for smashing the first door. Shampoo giggled as she thought of that dumb Mousse, he spent three days in the stocks in the pouring rain because Shampoo promised to date him as soon as he got out. The funniest part was that Mousse caught a cold and Shampoo told him that rescheduling the date wasn't part of their deal. Last she heard the dummy was training to take revenge or something.

At that very moment our heroine, Neko, was doing another impulsive thing. She was chasing Ukyo across the rooftops of Furinkan with a bento of her fresh baked Dim Sum.

"Ukyo-sama, Please try some of Neko's very delicious cooking. Mew."

"Get away from me! You're crazy!"

"You'll feel different after you eat Neko's cooking! Mew."

What the heck was Ukyo supposed to do here. Sure she was the sworn enemy of the Saotomes. Sure her family honor demanded she turn around and attack Neko. Sure her affections make her vulnerable. However, ever since Ukyo renounced her womanhood being liked by other girls has scared the daylights out of her. After all what if she started liking them back. It would be untrue to Ranma. Wait why does Ranma matter? The engagement is ancient history. Besides he betrayed her.

Ukyo opened the door on the roof of Furinkan highschool and rushed inside.

Oh no, Neko though! It was her old enemy, a door. All right Neko, you have done this a thousand times. Remember you have hands, not paws. Grip the knob between the fingers and the thumb, turn and push. It didn't work. Don't panic some doors you pull instead of pushing. Try pulling. Yes it's opening.

Her triumph was short lived. The door opened to a flight of stairs, and there resting on the first step was a grenade with the pin missing. She immediately closed the door.

POW!

A loud noise could be heard and smoke sifted outward from the edges of the door. Neko couldn't help but wonder why her new husband was being so shy. After all he was so forward in challenging her right at the beginning of their date the day before.

Figuring that Neko would view all the exits from the rooftop, Ukyo rushed to the underground passage that Gosunkugi had shown her back when they where taking over the school. Escape was hers she thought. The tunnel led directly to Kuno's house. Even if she didn't escape there would be a minion ready for back up.

"Wait Ukyo," a voice called as she raced through the tunnel. She looked back. It was none other than that accursed Genma Saotome. "You, why are you here old man!"

Genma knew he was playing a dangerous game. Ukyo claimed and even convinced herself that she wanted revenge against the Saotomes, but the older martial artist suspected what her true feelings were. "I saw Neko chasing you, and used my mountain lion form to track you when you entered the school."

"I asked why you're here, not how you found me," Ukyo bellowed.

"Listen to me Ukyo! Neko isn't Ranma's relative she is Ranma." Seeing her eyes widen and her defensive stance falter Genma faked some tears and continued. "Ranma fell into a cursed spring at Jusenkyou. She is locked in her cursed form by a magic bracelet. Due to something called the Nekoken she lost her memory, and thought she was a female cat. Next she was re-educated by a tribe of mountain warriors called the Amazons." Ukyo was now staring in dazed disbelief. Genma crossed his fingers and finished his story. "Despite all this Ranma never forgot you. Ranma still loves you, and that love may be the only thing that can restore him to his former self." Ukyo nodded with a look of Urgency in her eyes. "Okay, what do I do," she asked. Genma had her. She actually believed Neko remembered her. Ranma barely even remembered her before he lost his memory. Now all he had to do was convince Ukyo to get Neko to eat one of her own mind controlling Dim Sum. Now to tell her his plan…

Suddenly the walls of the tunnel exploded. Genma used Ukyo as a shield to protect himself from the dust and falling debris. "Not now" he cursed

"Ukyo-sama, I found you! Mew."

"Ukyo, listen to me, whatever you do don't eat the…" Genma was stopped by the sounds of hands clapping. He dropped to the floor, took out a shoot of Bamboo from who knows where, and began munching.

"Old man, what were you saying?" Ukyo demanded to know.

He continued to munch the bamboo with an oblivious look on his face, and growled when Ukyo tried to take the bamboo shoot away.

Ukyo looked at Neko in a new light. She had always wondered how different Ranma might be when they finally met again, but this was a bit much. The eyes were the only part that looked the same, and yet they were also the part that had changed the most. As a child Ranma's eyes were constantly wandering never able to focus in one spot for very long, but now those eyes were looking at her and only her. This was her first love, the love that supposedly let her down. Still Ranma had lost everything but managed to hold on to that love (at least that's what Genma had told her). This wasn't the Ranma who had betrayed her. Revenge on this person was meaningless. Did Ukyo want that Ranma back? All these years did she really want him for revenge, or was they're something else? Could this girl give her what she wanted? She was beautiful, but maybe Ukyo was just so lonely that she wanted to see someone who didn't exist. Or maybe the part that betrayed her was the part of Ranma that didn't exist anymore.

"Ukyo eat Neko's Dim Sum now? Mew."

"Huh." Ukyo managed. She looked as though she was already in a trance. Her eyes were glazed, and devoid of expression.

Neko gently took Ukyo's hand and place a baked good inside it.

"Did you make this for me?" Ukyo asked.

"Mew."

"Because you love me!"

"Mew." She said with more enthusiasm.

Ukyo looked at the food held it close to her heart then slowly lifted it to her mouth.

"Hey Shampoo," Nabiki asked. "What type of currency do they use in the Amazon tribe."

"We use the barter system," Shampoo answered. "Village trades goods and resources with other villages. People of tribe think governments big enough to need other currencies are mostly corrupt. When Nabiki joins tribe Nabiki will give all her Japanese moneys to elder council to be used only for emergency medical care and education of all Amazon peoples."

NO!

Though miles apart Nabiki and Genma screamed in unison

"Everyone stop eating the Dim Sum," Nabiki demanded. "Don't you see those Amazons are like small scale communists."

"Don't eat that Dim Sum," Genma demanded, slapping the bun from Ukyo's hand and the tray of buns from Neko's arm onto the dirty filthy ground.

Shampoo tried clapping her hands, but couldn't regain control of Nabiki. Nabiki then looked to her sisters. "Akane, Kasumi, you have to fight it. We can't give all our money to the Amazon council."

"But the Amazon system is better than ours," Akane commented. "It looks out for all the people and treats them equally."

"Equal," Nabiki shouted. "Equal. A barter system equal. Think Akane! What will you do in the village, what will you have to barter. Will you sew quilts, grow food, cook. You know how inept you are with anything domestic. Akane, you would be the poorest Amazon ever."

"Akane have brute strength," Shampoo retorted. "Warriors strength is considered most important contribution to village."

"Right, Amazons are warriors," Nabiki continued. "Kasumi, what will you do in a warrior society."

"I suppose I would sew quilts, grow food, and cook."

"Kasumi have talent for cooking, and even good with medicine. She could even be a herbalist, or potion maker," Shampoo complimented.

"Well I'm sorry! Maybe you girls will enjoy living like a meaner more in your face Amish colony, but I for one happen to like our corrupt capitalist system," teased Nabiki.

Back in the tunnel. Neko clapped furiously, but had lost control of Genma.

"Ukyo listen to me. That Dim Sum contained a…"

POW! Slap! Kapow!

"How dare you ruin the food my darling Neko-chan cooked for me with love." Ukyo violently pelted Genma with her spatula.

Her darling Neko-chan. Oh please. Five minutes ago Ukyo was desperate to escape Neko. Still, Genma thought, it was his own fault for trying to team up with someone as crazy as Ukyo. Maybe this is why he ran off with the okanomiyaki cart all those years ago. He knew the whole family was nuts.

Neko was so happy. Her love was fighting for her honor. Well actually Ukyo was savagely beating Neko's own father, who had just saved her from insidious mind control. Still Ukyo had called her Ukyo's darling. Maybe now her love wouldn't run away. Perhaps those Dim Sums weren't necessary after all.

Ukyo finally stopped flinging her spatula. Genma had been unconscious for a while, and her arm was getting tired. Neko glomped her in a way she learned from big sister Shampoo and squealed Wo Ai Ni. She proceeded to give her defender a passionate kiss.

She's doing it again, Ukyo thought. Still if it's Ranma then that's okay. Wait why is it okay? I spent years training to kill Ranma. Yet this isn't the same Ranma. I want it because it is Ranma, but it's okay because it isn't Ranma. Wait, if it isn't Ranma then are we two girls kissing? Does she know I'm a girl? Of course she knows. Ranma remembered only me. It's Ranma; it's okay, but just in case.

Ukyo shoved Neko away and ran away as fast as she could.

"Oh phooey! Mew. Airen is still being shy. Mew."

xxxxx

Dr. Tofu gripped a patients wrist and shoulder with expert precision. He gave the wrist a slight twist, while apply a more sizable pressure to the shoulder. The right amount of pressure would cure this mans back pain for a week, but too much would break his arm. He was doing this perfectly. He always did. Then he saw her. His glasses fogged over. No, don't fog over, he thought. If they fog over he wouldn't see her anymore. There was a cracking sound and a large scream filled the room. Probably nothing important, he thought. The doctor continued to focus on her.

Kasumi sighed. She was too timid to do this. No wait. Amazons are warriors, they can't be timid. She had to do this, otherwise she would leave for the village and never see him again. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, psyched herself up then did what she came to do. "I'm sorry to bother you at work. Dr. Tofu, I don't know how you feel about me," she said meekly, "but tribal laws are bigger than our feelings," she said with more confidence. "I challenge you to a fight. If you win then you have to marry me, that's the tribe law, and if I win you have to marry me cause um… I beat you." This was the right thing to do, wasn't it? After all a village in the mountains could use a good doctor. She wanted him, taking him is what an Amazon would do right?

Popping and cracking noises continued.

Normally Tofu-sensei would loose all sense of logic when Kasumi was around. Still he listened intently to her every word, having a good enough memory to make sense of what she said later. Kasumi, how nice to see you! Just let me finish up with this patient. He then pulled the poor mans arm in and out of its socket and struck some random pressure points. Miraculously the man previously scheduled to see chiropractors for the rest of his life was forever cured of his back problems. Still his shoulder was going to hurt for a week or so.

"I thought you might be this way," Kasumi commented. She then handed the doctor a Dim Sum that she stashed away from dinner. The doctor thanked her and greedily ate it, along with the napkin it was wrapped in. Soon his eyes glazed over in a familiar manner. Kasumi spoke, "Whenever you hear hands clap you will think in a calm, rational, and serious manner for a little while." She added the little while because his goofy seeming personality was kinda cute in small doses. She then clapped her hands.

The fogged disappeared from his glasses and Tofu looked at Kasumi. Realizing this was his chance he got down on his knees. "Kasumi, Oh my dear Kasumi. I love you. I've always loved you; but whenever I see you I become to flustered and inarticulate to express my true feelings. Please marry me."

For once Kasumi was flustered and inarticulate so Tofu reluctantly continued. "Also I talked to Genma the other day, and I really think you should consider the possibility that you might be brainwashed by the Amazons."

"Um… Uh. I like Amazons," Kasumi said in total confusion.

"Okay, sure, then I like them to," Tofu said in a loud obnoxious voice. His glasses were clouded over again and he could no longer think straight. "Let's join the tribe together. Hey, uh… do we still have to fight."

xxxxxxx

The next morning the school was being reopened. Every boy arrived an hour early for there daily strategy meeting. After all 400 boys couldn't gang up on one girl every day without a plan. Someone might get hurt. The grand council consisting of the toughest male fighters in the school and Gosunkugi were gathered awaiting the arrival of their dictator. Finally Ukyo arrived. Yet something was not right. Their dark ruler seemed tired and unalert as well as distracted and in deep thought.

"Lord Ukyo," Kuno addressed. "Our forces are at peak strength. I thought today we would send the wrestling team as a distraction then have the math club handle the main attack. We usually do it the other way around, but that never works so..:"

"Huh," came Ukyo's only response.

"The daily attack on Akane Tendo, my liege." What was wrong, Kuno wondered? Ukyo always treated these strategy sessions with absolute seriousness.

Ukyo continued to stare off into no where.

"Lord Ukyo, your orders please," Kuno begged.

"Oh uh, you handle it. I'm taking time off from bullying Akane."

Everyone was shocked. Ukyo had spent over a year fighting to be the absolute power in Furinkan only to give that power back to Kuno. The idiot Kuno. Still, even in this state there was no boy willing to challenge the dark will of the person whose name must not be spoken. Everyone looked at Kuno in awe. He was the leader once more. For the first time and a long while a twinkle of independence and ambition could be seen in his eye. "All right everyone," Kuno announced, "there is one strategy I've been dying to try."

Neko, Shampoo, and Akane all walked towards the school as one might any morning. Then as she did every morning Akane ran ahead into the schools yard so that her friends wouldn't get caught in the morning brawl. She was ready, having eaten a hearty breakfast of Dim Sum. To her surprise she made it halfway to the door without being attacked. Keeping her guard up Akane looked around. In the center of the path to the front entrance was a large transplanted patch of watermelons (obviously Gosunkugis' doing) and in the middle of the watermelon patch was a note. The note read AKANE PLEASE STAND HERE AND PICK UP A WATERMELON. Completely baffled Akane foolishly did as the note told her.

"All right Kuno-sempai," a thug told his leader, "Akane is holding the melon. We will take the blindfold off now." Last summer Kuno went on a training trip to the legendary Watermelon Island. In the training he was bombarded with watermelons and forced to fight for his life until the very sight of this fruit drove him onto a mad attacking frenzy. There was some temporary memory loss and the training almost killed him, but at last he was ready to reap the benefits of one of the most dramatic and generally useless training exercises in existence. Once the blindfold was removed the world turned red. Those accursed melons, there was a whole field of them. Rage built within him and with a single leap he flew into the patch, striking the melons with his sword one by one. Akane saw a blur of small explosions go off around her. In microseconds he struck at the very melon Akane was holding, knocking her onto several more melons in the patch. Kuno then struck at the watermelons her body defended, thus pelting Akane into submission.

When it was over Kuno spoke.

"Alas what foul men we be to leave such fine fruit wither on the vine so that I may strike a delicate flower who is in her prime."

Everyone stared in confusion. They looked upon the limp form of Akane Tendo. She was just a girl. She had defeated and humiliated them all so many times yet now she did indeed seem to be a delicate flower, lying helpless before the captain of the Kendo club. They continued to stare in indecision for a few moments then the lowest of them began to clap. The other students followed. Soon everyone was clapping and cheering.

Suddenly Akane sprung awake. "I swear allegiance to the Amazon tribe," she yelled. Everyone stared in uncertainty, but Akane had already heard the clapping. She knew she had been defeated by someone not of the tribe. What was that custom Neko had told her about? She loved that custom. After all it was an Amazon Custom. Of course. Akane pulled Kuno in for a passionate kiss, and then she spoke "I love you."

Kuno was not surprised. "Of course you love me Akane Tendo. Moreover I will defeat Ukyo. The school is mine once more. After all," he held his sword in the air and lightning sparked as though the gods trembled in fear, "I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High" Kuno screamed into the heavens.

Ukyo looked out the window and starred at the spectacle. "Huh, go figure." She then went back to thinking about her situation with Neko.

Nabiki, who always arrives early to take bets on the morning brawl, looked upon the bizarre scene before her. "You have got to be kidding me," she said. "How many magic mushrooms has Akane eaten. Well I suppose I can't just leave things like this. After all if Kuno has the real Akane he won't want to buy pictures of her anymore. HEY AKANE," she yelled. "Can I borrow your Ryoga tracker." Before she could tell what her sister was planning Akane nodded, then turned her eyes back to her sweet poetic swordsman. She pulled the tracker from Akanes knapsack, which and been tossed to the side of the melon patch, and activated the device. Nabiki was impressed for a moment. After all even the military doesn't have access to a GPS system this advanced. She pressed one button and a map of Nerima appeared with a green dot to represent her location and a yellow dot to show Ryogas'. Strangely he was in the girls locker room again. She pressed another button and saw a thermal image of Ryoga himself picking his nose in an overhead view. "Well," she said in her most snotty know-it-all voice. "Let's see what Akanes boyfriend thinks of the mighty blue thunder."

Shampoo stared in shock. For the first time in her life she questioned her own tribal laws. Then she remembered the loophole. Akanes isn't bound to marriage laws unless she actually lives amongst the tribe for a time. She had better tell Akane, but maybe not for a while longer. Shampoo and Neko snickered to themselves, both thinking the same thing. Let's let this go on a little longer, just to see where it goes.

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Will Kasumi and Dr. Tofu finally duke it out?

Will Shampoo tell Akane she doesn't have to marry Kuno?

Does Akane actually want to marry Kuno?

How will Ryoga react?

How many magic mushrooms did Akane eat?

Will Ukyo stop being shy?

What will Neko try next to snag her dear Ukyo?

Are you sick of these stupid questions?

All this and more in the next chapter of tribal sisters.

Please, please, please review this. Send questions, comments, and suggestions to or use the mediaminer reviews section.


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